“I can’t believe you ate all of that.” “Do you really eat food from McDonald’s?” “You only workout twice a week?”  “Can’t you do more exercise than just walking?” “Your jeans are really getting too tight.”

All of the preceding comments are examples of food, fitness and body shaming. Shaming comments are used to make someone feel sorry or bad for something they have done such as selecting certain foods, having a low level of exercise or experiencing a changing body. Shame is used to punish, ostracize or embarrass people for some perceived misdeed.

We live in a culture of shaming. People with strong beliefs in personal responsibility for weight and fitness are likely to blame and stigmatize those who have a larger body size. One stereotype is that an adult or child with a high body weight lacks willpower and self-discipline. Media and the diet industry both promote the thin ideal and the false message that people can achieve whatever body type they want if they work hard enough.

Unfortunately, friends and family are notorious for speaking messages of shame. Co-workers and peers may also feel free to shame others. Sadly, one research study indicated 25% of consumers have experienced shaming from medical professionals. Shaming has lasting effects. It can lead to low self-esteem, guilt, depression and isolation.

Parents are known to shame their children, or spouses will shame each other regarding their food choices or their body size, thinking it is a motivational tool to change. However, shaming others serves no motivational purpose and leaves them feeling worthless and alone. Criticism from others or self-criticism is linked to decreased motivation, increased procrastination and low achievement.

Conversely, compassion, kindness and encouragement from others as well as self-compassion, self-encouragement, and self-kindness lead to empowerment, increased motivation, and greater success.